Online dating and relationship success: The potential role of social media sharing

A new study published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking provides new details regarding how relationships that begin through online dating differ in success compared to those that start offline. The researchers found that married couples who met through online dating experienced lower relationship success if they did not talk about their relationship on social media. In contrast, for those who discussed their relationships online, there was no difference in success between online and offline couples.

As online dating becomes an increasingly common way for people to meet, researchers have been curious about its long-term impact on relationships. But previous findings were mixed: some studies showed online dating leading to more satisfying marriages, while others found it led to less stable and less satisfying relationships. The new study aimed to explore whether these differences could be explained by the presence (or absence) of relationship discussions on social media.

“Research shows that meeting a partner online is becoming more common than traditional methods like through friends or family,” said study author Junwen Hu, a PhD student in the Department of Communication at Michigan State University. “My collaborators and I often heard my peers struggle to find meaningful relationships online, yet I also kept hearing stories of people who met online and ended up happily married. This contrast made us curious whether online dating really helps people build better relationships.”

For their study, the researchers used data from the Pew Research Center’s American Trends Survey, conducted in 2019. This survey included a nationally representative sample of 4,860 adults in the United States, with a focus on online dating behavior. For this particular study, the researchers selected participants who were either married or in committed, non-marital romantic relationships. The sample was further narrowed to only include those who clearly indicated whether they had met their partner through online dating or offline methods, resulting in a final sample of 2,787 individuals.

In addition to asking how participants met their partners, the survey asked about their relationship success, which was measured by how well they felt things were going in their relationship on a four-point scale. The survey also asked whether participants had shared or discussed their relationship on social media.

Of this sample, most participants were between 30 and 64 years old. Most participants identified as White and heterosexual, though there was representation from non-White and non-heterosexual populations as well. The survey also captured data on the duration of relationships, with most participants having been in their relationships for more than five years.

The results showed that for married couples, meeting online was linked to lower relationship success—but only if the couple did not share or discuss their relationship on social media. Among married couples who did share their relationship experiences online, there was no significant difference in success between those who met online and those who met offline. This finding suggests that social media can help compensate for the lack of traditional social support that might be missing in relationships that start through online dating.

In non-marital relationships, the pattern was different. Meeting through online dating was actually linked to higher relationship success, but only for those who talked about their relationship on social media. For non-married couples who did not share their relationship online, there was no significant difference in success between those who met online and those who met offline.

“My collaborators and I were surprised that online dating seemed to have a more negative impact on marriages than on non-marital relationships,” Hu told PsyPost. “We would have expected people to be more selective when it comes to marriage.”

In summary, for married couples, online dating was linked to less relationship success unless the couple actively discussed their relationship on social media. For non-married couples, discussing their relationship online appeared to enhance the positive effects of online dating, leading to greater success compared to offline relationships.

“Meeting a partner online versus offline can affect relationships, but the impact may be more nuanced than simply saying ‘online dating leads to worse relationships,’” Hu explained. “For instance, in our study, online dating was linked to less successful marriages but didn’t significantly affect non-marital relationships. Also, involving one’s social network (like friends) in the relationship process, such as seeking advice or sharing updates, may boost success in relationships that start online.”

While this study provides important insights into the dynamics of online dating and relationship success, there are some limitations. “This is a correlational study, so we can’t draw conclusions about causality,” Hu noted. “It’s possible that other factors play a role. For example, research suggests that people with attachment anxiety are more likely to use online dating and also tend to have more challenging romantic experiences than securely attached people.”

Looking forward, Hu hopes “to explore ways to improve people’s online dating experiences. As online dating continues to grow in popularity, we need to figure out how to make the process more satisfying. One area my collaborators – in and beyond this project – and I are working on is how people’s beliefs about online dating and AI-powered matchmaking affect their success and satisfaction. This draws on the concept of self-fulfilling prophecy. Hopefully, we can help users navigate these platforms more effectively.”

The study, “Does Online Dating Make Relationships More Successful? Replication and Extension of a Previous Study,” was authored by Junwen M. Hu, Rui Zhu, and Yue Zhang.

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