I have four kids − three teenagers and a preteen. And I’ve banned them from using (most) social media.
Social media is addictive and exposes kids to an array of distractions and vices. I just don’t see how it helps them.
Smartphones and social media are tricky to navigate, but I don’t regret my stance.
When I refer to social media, I mean interactive, user-friendly apps that feature short-form content like posts and videos. That includes apps like Instagram, X, TikTok, Snapchat and Facebook.
The kids do use YouTube and YouTube Kids, but they don’t post on those platforms.
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When my eldest became a junior in high school − he’s now a senior − he created an X (Twitter) account. He’s a news junkie like his mom.
Social media use can be a huge waste of time
I’ve banned most social media platforms because they are ubiquitous and addictive. They’re hard to use sparingly and can be an enormous time waster for adults and children.
Teens are especially susceptible to the overuse of social media. It’s fun and feels like community, and most of them have a lot more time on their hands than adults do. Studies show that older teens are online “almost constantly” − an average of nearly five hours a day, which is the equivalent of a part-time job.
I have yet to find a compelling study that shows positive benefits for teens of long-term social media use. When my kids ask about using social media, I challenge them to find such research. They usually can’t.
In fact, they usually find the opposite: Research shows that significant social media use contributes to anxiety and depression, especially for girls.
So I told my children when they got phones that social media didn’t come with the package − with the exception of YouTube, which can be educational.
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Social media opens up an online world that many teens aren’t ready to navigate on their own. Some aspects are just plain dangerous, whether it’s viral trends like the “blackout challenge” or the possibility of online grooming by predators.
Even the facades that influencers present and TikTok creators who sympathize with Osama bin Laden create a toxic blend of disingenuousness and indoctrination.
Social media use also is hard to police. That goes hand in hand with my realization over time that I regret letting my kids have smartphones at a young age.
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Adults have a lot going on: Work, raising a family, keeping a home, cultivating relationships, hobbies and communities. (If you’re a working parent reading this and don’t have many hobbies, take comfort: I don’t, either.)
Added to that, we must monitor smartphones and the entire world they can encompass − a rabbit hole of apps, websites, chat rooms and more. Apps, filters and settings can help with all this, of course. And phones like Bark − which I might try with my youngest − promise to make it easier to monitor your children’s online activities.
But monitoring online and social media use is another daunting thing to add to an already-full list of adult to-do’s.
Research doesn’t support teen social media use
I’ve learned a few interesting things about navigating smartphones and apps with my kids that have influenced my view on social media.
Smartphones and social media are useful tools. Having a tiny computer in our pockets lets busy adults multitask. We can add an event to the calendar, communicate with a friend, fire off an email to our boss and check the weather in a five-minute span.
Just being able to text and call friends and family at a moment’s notice from anywhere is a huge relief. When I think about how my parents communicated family emergencies − through a pager and a phone attached to the wall of our home − I feel anxiety.
But there’s a down side to the immediate nature of smartphones. It can become addicting for adults, but especially for children whose brains are still developing.
I’ve joked that smartphones pull at us with a mysterious force. You can test this by putting your phone in another room and seeing how long it takes for you to feel anxious.
Turns out, it’s a real phenomenon.
Mark Williams, an author and professor of cognitive neuroscience, says constant notifications on our phones texts, alerts and social media updates can increase stress, decrease concentration, harm learning and make teens less productive. I notice that’s also true for me as an adult.
That’s why I support the federal Kids Off Social Media Act, which would prevent children younger than 13 from accessing social media and prohibit companies from programming algorithms for anyone under 17. The bill approaches social media in a similar way to smoking and alcohol. As a society, we’ve decided those substances are especially dangerous for children and young adults. Social media poses its own dangers for kids who are still learning to navigate the complexities of the world we live in.
I’ve never regretted keeping a close eye on my children’s social media use. Being a teen is hard enough. Social media adds a layer of difficulty that I don’t think kids need.
Nicole Russell is an opinion columnist with USA TODAY. She lives in Texas with her four kids. Sign up for her newsletter, The Right Track, and get it delivered to your inbox.
