There are countless ways to generate clicks, likes and views on social media. But some techniques designed to boost popularity on these platforms can prove extremely toxic.

Such is the case of “cloutlighting”, which involves entertaining followers at your partner’s expense, to the point of jeopardising your relationship.

Whether it’s announcing a breakup, lamenting having been cheated on, exposing marital problems, or even evoking more intimate difficulties, relationships are a content goldmine in the age of social networks. The phenomenon is so widespread that some influencers and content creators have been suspected of staging fake divorces or breakups to gain more followers.

As a result, many social media users now play the game in tandem with their partner. It’s a successful practice but it has its limits, especially if one of the partners doesn’t agree to be constantly on show from every possible angle.

In this respect, cloutlighting is a trend that involves filming your partner in less-than-glamorous situations in order to gain likes and popularity.

A contraction of the terms “clout”, meaning online influence, and “gaslighting”, a form of manipulation designed to make a person doubt their own words, memory and even sanity, the word cloutlighting was coined by British journalist Jessica Lindsay, writing for Metro.

In her article, she recalls an uncomfortable video in which a woman breaks down in tears because her partner has eaten her meal while she ducked out quickly to get something. And the whole scene was filmed by the partner in question. This staged prank amused many viewers, and was retweeted countless times, but it also made some – largely female users – feel uncomfortable.

Although the concept emerged in 2018, it never seems to have gone away, and it has even spread at top speed on social media.

This trend inevitably comes at the expense of one of the partners in a relationship. While this can range from harmless scenes, there are also many far more toxic videos on social networks.

From a cream pie in the face to the “cheating prank”, which involves making your partner believe they’re being cheated on and filming their reaction – not to mention the posting of arguments or private secrets or confessions, insults, or even fake deaths, these videos, which are “funny” to others, are not so funny to the person being mocked or even humiliated on a daily (and public) basis.

And this, of course, can damage the couple’s relationship.

There are several reasons why these videos can be detrimental. Not only has the pranked person not given their consent to be exposed on social networks, but they are also mocked by their partner and other users, who are quick to add insult to injury with their comments. This can lead to a loss of self-confidence and trust in the partner, but also to questions about the nature of the relationship.

Is this abusive behaviour? Or manipulation? Frequent occurrence of this type of hoax may actually reveal a certain toxicity within the relationship.

Interviewed by Metro, relationship counsellor and sex therapist Ammanda Major explains: “Playing pranks on partners who aren’t ‘in’ on the joke and then sharing their reaction online is both cruel and abusive, and probably says quite a bit about the level of trust and care in a relationship.

“Online pranks like these often arise when the couple have different ideas about what’s hurtful in a relationship, so it’s best to try and work out where you’re both coming from and what’s OK from the start.”

Following the expert’s words, Lindsay continues: “Ask yourself whether it was just an ill-judged incident, or if it’s part of a common theme with you both.” In which case, it seems like a good time to make some serious decisions.