Digital danger (Part 2): Windsor teen’s story of trust, betrayal on social media

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The betrayal was stunning. 

It started with a 13-year-old Windsor girl who finally convinced her parents to let her have an iPod. It finished with authorities catching on just in time to thwart an effort to illicit sexual pictures. 

Julia Masciotra was a student 10 years ago when she hounded her parents into letting her have the newest digital device. 

“When I was 11 or 12, everyone in my class was getting their first iPod,” she said. “But I never got my first iPod till I was 13 years old because my parents were (saying), ‘It’s a bad thing to have, it’s not needed.’” 

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She had seen classmates use social media, and longed to have a connection with the world through Instagram and Snapchat.  

When she finally got her iPod, she started tentatively. She connected with friends, with the players on her soccer team. Then she created a secret Twitter account. “I kept it very hidden,” Masciotra said. “I didn’t use my name.

“The people who knew me, they would know it was me.”

She also got into Kik, at the time an app similar to today’s WhatsApp. “I remember downloading Kik … within the first day on my iPhone,” she said. “I downloaded it before anything else.” 

Masciotra was having a hard time in 2014. She had lost her grandfather. But then came a friendly stranger. 

“I found myself in a loop with a ‘stranger’ from the U.K. who reached out to me. He said ‘I heard you’re going through a hard time, I’m here for you,’” Masciotra said.

“I felt like someone actually cares about me right now,” she said. “Like I’m actually getting some attention.” 

Then something strange happened. Some girls in her class told her she was fortunate to be chatting with the stranger, who was also communicating with them. 

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That didn’t sit right with Masciotra. She thought it was “weird.” She wondered how they knew they were communicating with the same stranger. 

It went on for weeks, and the conversations became more “explicit.” 

Then the girls in her class told her the stranger was nicer than her.  

“And then maybe … two weeks later, again another person reached out to me and started messaging the same way. I was like, ‘This is fake. This is in no way real.’ 

“I’m now aware that if someone’s going to play this game of tricking me, I know it’s fake.” 

But the stranger insisted the account was authentic. 

Just before her 14th birthday, she was called into the principal’s office. She was told she was being sexted. She told her principal no one had sent her explicit photographs.

“I never sent a nude,” she said. “I never thought about it. But the person was texting me to the point where is it getting very explicit.” 

Someone had overheard girls in her class talking about copying an explicit photograph of an Instagram hashtag with sexualized photos and sending it to her, with the idea of getting her to send one back. 

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The “stranger” Masciotra had been communicating with was girls in her class. 

“There were two or three main people who were in charge of it and they were telling everyone in the class what to do and they were giving ideas to these people in my class,” she said.

“And then the worst part is, it was a lot of people. It wasn’t just a class. There were girls and guys laughing and talking about me behind my back.”  

She was told that if the sexting plan had worked, virtually her whole class would have been charged by police.

“I remember my dad, when he first found out about it. He’s like, ‘This is exactly why I didn’t want to get you an iPod for so long. This is the exact reason why.’” 

At school, she had regular meetings with a social worker. “She asked me who am I talking to, what am I up to nowadays and just how am I dealing with everything?” 

Masciotra had to earn back access to her iPod. 

“I lost my parents’ trust. When I did have my iPod, when they gave it back to me, instead of the whole night, I only had like maybe an hour or two each night. And they would ask me who am I talking to, who’s texting me, what am I doing?”

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At the time she was 14 years old. 

“Honestly, I didn’t do anything wrong. And they’re like, ‘No, you didn’t necessarily do anything wrong. You just didn’t speak up about a serious thing that could have gone a lot worse.’” 

Masciotra hadn’t expressed her concerns to anyone because she didn’t think they would believe her. Her parents were there for her, but they didn’t know much about social media. She didn’t talk to teachers while the stranger communicated with her because she believed it was not a school-oriented issue.

“Why bother talking to teachers about (something) happening at home, not on school premises?” she thought at the time. 

Her parents had even tried to prepare her for online abuse. She had watched the 2011 movie Cyberbully with her mother. “My mom said, ‘If this happens to you, you know you can talk to me.’ 

“I didn’t think it was cyberbullying, even when it was sexting.” 

Now a graduate of the public relations program at St. Clair College and a competitor in local pageants, Masciotra continues to use social media, but she keeps her accounts private and she verifies who she’s talking to — something she thinks everyone should do, especially young people.

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“I keep my guard up,” she said. 

bamacleod@postmedia.com 

Digital Danger: In a week-long investigative series, the Windsor Star looks at social media and young people — how they are being affected and how dangerous the content can be. Reporter Brian MacLeod’s six-part series concludes with suggestions for parents to become a key part in making social media safer for their children.

Part 1: What parents need to know about the risks of social media

TODAY: A story of trust and betrayal on social media

Part 3: Social media triggering fights, robbing children of opportunities: teacher

Part 4: The life of a teen on social media is chasing likes; how AI is changing social media landscape

Part 5: Young people drawn to social media by need for approval

Part 6: Parents are key to making social media safe for their children

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