As a media studies major, it is quite ironic that I have spent the past two months off Instagram and Snapchat. While my vice is now YouTube Shorts and X, formerly known as Twitter, I feel as though I’ve been relatively unplugged from social media. I always thought I would be the last person to admit this, considering my obsession with aestheticizing my Instagram feed, but disconnecting from social media has allowed me to reconnect with my real life.
This meant I had to end my toxic relationship with social media apps, namely Instagram. For years, we had been on and off, as I often distanced myself by logging out for weeks at a time. And like most of us who have ever ended a toxic relationship, I woke up one day and decided I couldn’t take it anymore. We went no contact (I deleted the app off my phone). Sometimes, Instagram is desperate enough to email me about the posts I’m “missing” out on. I’ve since blocked those emails.
It’s only been two months, but I’ve already experienced all seven stages of grief. I think that when it comes to cutting Instagram out of my life, it’s not just about losing animal reels that make me chuckle or losing immediate communication with others, but about learning to redefine my self-image.
My Instagram feed encapsulates all the things I adore but at the same time is a way for me to maintain control of how others perceive me, which is how this codependent relationship originally formed. I’ve realized that presenting my life through little squares and stories capturing my highest of highs and never my lowest of lows has hindered my own growth — I posted with the intent to receive validation in the form of comments and likes.
Since breaking up with the app, I’ve become less anxious about my appearance because my image only exists for those who see me in real life. Time spent with friends now lacks potential ulterior motives for taking pictures to post. I find myself wandering about my day, savoring every ounce of what is happening before me rather than passively consuming others’ instantaneous status updates.
Some believe I have gone MIA, but I couldn’t disagree more. I’m fortunate enough to have close friends who are thrilled to hear my life updates and vice versa. Perhaps we’re not designed to maintain ties with everyone we’ve ever met — as selfish as this may sound, I would prefer to privately cherish my experiences.
I stand before you today, acknowledging that just because Instagram and I didn’t work out, doesn’t mean you guys won’t. Remember that the real prize, at the end of the day, is your own life.
