Midlife social media addict? Here’s what to do

According to a study published last month in the online journal Nature Human Behaviour, which involved almost 90,000 adults in 23 countries including the UK, regular internet use was associated with a 9 per cent reduction in depressive symptom scores, a 7 per cent increase in life satisfaction scores, and a 15 per cent rise in self-reported health scores among the over-50s age group, compared with those who went online rarely or never.

Dr Ruth Plackett, a senior research fellow at University College London, agrees that being online can be a positive experience — but only if you’re intentional about how you navigate the digital landscape.

Here’s how to get the most out of being online, while mitigating the downsides.

Make use of friction psychology

Hepburn explains that to break a habit such as regularly reaching for your phone, introducing a barrier is crucial. In psychology, friction is a concept that refers to any factor that increases the time or effort required to complete a task or make a decision.

“I noticed that being on social media was becoming almost habitual. It was the first thing I did when I got up — I’d have a quick scroll — and it was the last thing I did at night,” Hepburn says. Now, she doesn’t take her phone upstairs. “It stays downstairs. I have a traditional alarm clock, and I started reading huge amounts again, because not having my phone next to me freed up so much time. I also sleep better.” Hepburn is an advocate of anything that makes you stop and think. “That way, it’s no longer impulsive. You can make an active choice: what do I really want to do here?”

In-app limits on Instagram aren’t enough

You can set limits on Instagram so that a window pops up, notifying you that you’ve reached your maximum browsing time for that day — but it’s very easy to override with a quick click, says Hepburn.

Instead she recommends apps like Forest. When users spend time away from their phones, they grow virtual trees and earn coins, which can then be saved up to help plant real trees in five countries in Africa: Cameroon, Kenya, Senegal, Uganda and Tanzania. If they exit the Forest app before the timer expires (users can set this in advance) a virtual tree dies. “I found that really incentivising,” Hepburn says.

An app called Freedom enables users to block specific apps and websites, schedule browsing sessions, and set time limits that can’t be easily undone. The app One Sec creates a pause before your chosen app opens, giving you the opportunity to decide whether you actually need to use it or not.

The idea that deleting social media helps is a myth

“Social media has become such a part of our social life, so deleting it altogether means you’re likely to be excluded from social events and making new friends,” says Plackett. People are very rarely able to log off indefinitely, research shows — and taking yourself off social media entirely is unhelpful because it can stop you from building up resilience. “You need to be able to manage the online world rather than avoid it completely. It’s important to go through experiences such as comparing yourself to others online, for example,” Plackett says.

Be aware when you’re making ‘upward comparisons’

People make assumptions based on a snapshot of someone else’s life online. “It results in feeling like we’re doing worse than them,” Hepburn says. First of all, notice you’re making an upward comparison, which is when we compare ourselves with those who we believe are better than us. “And then remind yourself that your comparison is unfair because you’re not getting a true representation of someone’s reality,” she says.

In some cases, it can be particularly challenging to stop yourself from making a comparison, for example, if you’re struggling to conceive. “If you’re trying to have a baby but having difficulty, and you’re regularly seeing family-focused content, then you might need to ask yourself: are there people I can mute?”

Take phone breaks that are longer than a few hours a day

It could just be for a couple of hours every day at first so that you get used to it, says Plackett, but the breaks that work best for people last for a couple of days or a week. Research shows that longer stretches of abstinence tend to be more effective than just cutting down for a couple of hours a day.

“If you’re going on a family holiday, it’s worth saying, OK, no phones while we’re away from the hotel, or, ideally, no phones at all during the trip,” Plackett says. A study in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behaviour and Social Networking in 2022 found that one week off social media improved individuals’ overall level of wellbeing, as well as reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Use mindfulness to understand why you’re using social media

Being mindful about your social media use can help you to gain insight and acceptance into how it makes you feel and act accordingly, Plackett explains. She recommends active reflection: be specific with the questions you ask yourself. Why am I posting all these photos on Instagram? What’s the purpose? Does it make me feel good? What am I expecting to get out of it? Am I doing it for a reaction from a particular person or am I just doing it for myself? And then, how does it feel when I get no reaction, a negative reaction or a positive reaction?

Protect your attention from the algorithm

Plackett points to the higher number of people diagnosed with ADHD in recent years. Almost five people in every 1,000 are taking ADHD medication in England, an increase of 18 per cent from last year, and the highest number since records began in 2016.

A University of Bournemouth study in 2023 of 150 adults who had never been diagnosed with ADHD found that those who used social media excessively were more likely to have ADHD-like behaviours such as short attention spans and impulsivity.

• Digital world will leave us clutching thin air

“The algorithm on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok is designed to hold your attention and engage you as much as possible,” Plackett says. “So remember to have breaks.” In 2018 a decade of data analysed by leading memory psychologists at Stanford University found that people who frequently engaged with multiple online platforms had reduced memory and attention spans.

Don’t judge yourself for doomscrolling

“Instead, use it as an opportunity to think, ‘Right, that wasn’t helpful’ and observe how you were feeling in a compassionate way,” Plackett says. “Making yourself feel guilty isn’t going to change your behaviour.”

Don’t get into disagreements online

“Before engaging in an argument or debate on social media, stop and think: what’s the purpose of this? How beneficial is it to you?” Hepburn says. “It’s very easy to see a comment and respond to it immediately, but you’re very unlikely to change people’s opinions online.”

Don’t overdo it with posting content

Adults who post frequently on social media are at greater risk of developing mental health problems than those who passively view content, according to a recent study by researchers at UCL. Analysis of data from more than 15,000 British adults who answered questions on their use of social media and mental wellbeing revealed that those who posted daily on social media had more mental health problems than those who never posted.

There was no evidence of an association between viewing content frequently and mental health problems, however. These findings suggest that there is a clear distinction between active and passive social media use, explains Plackett, who led the study.

• It doesn’t take much to lure us to a virtual world

“Public posting, which includes putting things out on X or posting out on Instagram can be more stressful than just looking through your phone, when it comes to our mental health in adulthood,” she says.

Recognise when you’re wasting time — and make use of the right features

“There’s nothing inherently wrong with looking at images and videos on social media — and they’re not always necessarily harmful. But often, doing so can be at the expense of engaging in something more active, whether that’s physically or socially,” Plackett says.

“What we do see in a lot of the surveys and existing data is that people want to spend less time online and feel like it’s a waste of their time. But they’re still compelled to keep scrolling.”

Plackett believes that to combat this “mindless scrolling”, the over-40s need to be more aware of the options available to them, such as muting their notifications and blocking users. Younger generations know how to customise their experience on these apps, but middle-aged users don’t tend to, she says.

By educating themselves on how these various features work, middle-aged users will be able to avoid the draw of opening their social media apps as frequently. They’re also less likely to run the risk of engaging with something emotionally distressing.

The University of British Columbia found in a recent study that using social media intentionally can improve wellbeing. Users were encouraged to actively engage with friends by commenting or sending direct messages rather than passively scrolling. They also muted or unfollowed accounts that “triggered envy or negative self-comparisons”.