So before I get started, let me say the patently obvious, which is that it’s nigh-on impossible to keep a woman’s interest. And now that’s done, let me go a step further and say it’s even harder to keep her interest with words alone.
But why’s that, Ciaran?
Well, I’m glad you asked. You see, 93% of your communication comes from your body language, eye contact, and vocal tonality. This means that when a woman’s talking to your black ass in person, only 7% of the feeling she gets from you comes from the specific words you say.
Your words are just the vehicle through which your personality expresses itself. They’re nowhere near as important as you might think. It’s all about your energy.
However:
When you’re texting a woman through an app, all you have are your words because she isn’t right there with you to feel your energy. This means the specific words you use are now more critical than ever before because you have no other way of capturing her attention.
Seducing women is primarily about supplying them with a mixture of stimulating emotions. They need to associate positive feelings with your black ass should you ever want to experience the sweet bliss of sexual and emotional union with them. If they associate neutral or negative emotions with you, you’re sunk.
Scuppered.
Sabotaged.
Screwed and doomed forevermore to spend night after night all alone between the sheets with only Pornhub for company.
This means that when messaging women, you must use your words to their fullest to plant engaging images into their minds and be memorable. And so, on that note, let me introduce tip number 1, which is:
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1: Choose your words carefully
Even words that officially have the same meanings don’t conjure the same mental images when you hear or read them. For instance, let’s say I’ve got a sword, and it’s big. How exactly should I describe it?
Is it a big sword?
- A huge sword?
- A massive sword?
- A gargantuan sword?
Or should I even call it a sword at all? Maybe it’s a blade?
- A large blade?
- A huge blade?
- A monstrous blade?
See where I’m coming from?
Imagine someone told you a story about an old soldier with a big sword in his hand; what would you picture?
Now, let’s say that same person told you another story about an ancient warrior who wielded a monstrous blade. What would you picture now? I’d imagine you’re seeing two different things in your mind’s eye, but they essentially both mean the same thing, don’t they?
Or let’s use another example. Is a woman:
- Cute?
- Stunning?
- Gorgeous?
- Sexy?
- Hot?
- Attractive?
- Pretty?
- Beautiful?
- Sensual?
For the most part, all of the above mean the same thing, but again, they conjure different images in the mind.
Here’s another example, does a woman have exquisite breasts, or does she have massive tits? Something I’ve noticed is women tend to get slightly offended/disgusted when you call their breasts tits, but they quite like it when you call them breasts. But guess what?
Both technically mean the same thing.
#useyourwordscarefully
I’m in Brazil right now, and you see a lot of girls doing funk dancing in clubs. Now, Brazilian funk dancing essentially looks just like twerking with loads of booty shaking (oh, the horror), but that’s not how the local girls see it at all.
Ask them if they can dance funk, and they’ll happily say they can. Ask them if they can twerk, and they’ll get angry at you for sexualising Brazilian women even though the two things are precisely the same.
Twerking is perceived to be a sexual act, while funk dancing is seen as an innocent expression of femininity.
#useyourwordscarefully
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2: Roleplay with her
I have a number of Telegram groups for men who want to learn to be more attractive to women. Here’s a text exchange one of my members shared.
Woman: So excited!!!
Do you think you can plz pick me up again?
Man: If you dress up cute.
Woman: Who me? Never 😉😉
Man: You’ll be sent to the principal’s office. I.e. me:
GIRL: 😇😇😇
I’ll behave. I promise
So what exactly happened here?
What happened is that the man threw logic out the window by pretending he’s a stern authority figure who’ll discipline her if she gets out of line, and she loved it.
But why?
Well, I just said he threw logic out of the window, and that’s a crucial thing for you to pay attention to because it’s like this:
Logic is the enemy of female attraction
I always say this, and I’ll do it again: 2+2=4 conversations aren’t how you win a woman’s interest, heart, and body. Your goal is to stimulate her emotions, and you don’t do that by accurately depicting reality; you do it by being funny, witty, stimulating, sexual, engaging, etc.
Any time you can make your interactions fun by creating a fictional narrative will likely go down well. Maybe you guys are bank robbers who are going to go on an international crime spree like a 2023 Bonnie and Clyde? Perhaps you’re Aladdin, and she’s your very own Princess Jasmine, who must first prove herself worthy of riding your ‘magic carpet’?
Maybe your Siberian Husky puppies Raphael and Leonardo have been appointed with the sole duty of approving all potential dates and, as such, need to have a quick sniff to give her the paws up before you know she’s worthy of dating. Maybe this means she needs to meet Leo and Raph and win them over before she even stands a chance to claim your heart.
Have fun with it. There’s a song that says girls just wanna have fun, and it’s one of the most authentic statements ever statemented (not a word, I know). Allow me to reiterate:
Logic is the enemy of female attraction
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Drop a like and comment if you like this, also subscribe to Da Hard Truth, my new publication about dating and relationships with Teri Nickels.
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3: Imply sexuality without being explicit
We all know you need to establish yourself as a sexual being to not be placed in the friend zone (‘and if you don’t know, now you know’), but we also know that if you go too hard too soon, you’ll scare women off.
So, how exactly do you strike the right balance? How do you make sure she sees you as a sexual being but not a 24/7-boner-having horn dog? A great way is by implying sexuality without explicitly diving into it, and I’ll give you an example to explain what I mean. Remember this chat thread from earlier?
Woman: So excited!!!
Do you think you can plz pick me up again?
Man: If you dress up cute.
Woman: Who me? Never 😉😉
Man: You’ll be sent to the principal’s office. I.e. me:
GIRL: 😇😇😇
I’ll behave. I promise
Man: See that you do, or you’ll have to be disciplined.
Now, let’s look at the guy’s final line:
You’ll be sent to the principal’s office, I.e. me.
And the one I just added:
See that you do, or you’ll be disciplined.
What’s being implied here? The implication is clearly that the woman is going to be punished in a sexual way. The implication is that she’ll be bent over his knee and spanked for being a bad little girl, but it’s not openly stated.
It’s subtly implied
If he had said it openly, she’d almost certainly have been weirded out and chosen to ghost him. But, because it was subtly implied, her mind filled in the blanks and got a nice little thrill without needing to feel the shame of being slutty or uncomfortable with being directly confronted with brute force male sexuality.
When bringing up sexuality through text with women you don’t know well, do it subtly and indirectly. Also, don’t feel the need to linger on sexual topics either. A man who isn’t just comfortable bringing up sex but also completely at ease with dropping it is like gold dust.
If the man in this chat had moved the conversation to something non-sexual like Harry Potter or Love Island, it would have made a massive impression and communicated many great things about him. And ironically, she’d have wanted to sleep with him even more.
…
4: Be funnier/wittier
OK, every man and his dog knows women like humour, but I don’t see many people talking about how to be funnier, so I’ll cover that here.
Basically, it goes like this: humour is created when people are led to reach a particular conclusion before a statement is made, which completely blindsides them but, in retrospect, makes perfect sense. For instance, let’s take this joke here.
How does the ocean say hi? It waves!
Or this one.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.
Now, forget whether you found these funny for a moment because that’s not the point. The point is that you recognise them as being jokes, so why is that?
They have setups that lead to unexpected punchlines that make sense in retrospect. Teddy bears are ‘stuffed’ with padding, but being ‘stuffed’ means you’re full and can’t eat another bite. So yeah, a teddy bear would say no to dessert because she’s stuffed.
Oceans have waves, but of course, a wave is also something people do to get each other’s attention. So yeah, it makes sense that the ocean would wave to say hello.
Any joke you’ve ever heard, no matter how funny or unfunny, involves a setup that leads you in one direction before hitting you with an unseen element of surprise, which makes sense after the fact. So, with that in mind, try to see the potential for humour in your interactions with women and practice being funnier.
Of course, you don’t have to tell scripted jokes with official setups; they can also be purely off-the-cuff and observational comments. For instance, a while back, I matched a woman who was an aerial trapeze athlete and had a profile pic of her hanging upside down from her rings. However, her bio also said she’d turn my perspective upside down.
So I said: “Are you going to turn my perspective upside down with your awesomeness or by making me use your aerial rings?”
Not only did she find that funny, but I guarantee no one had said that to her before. Something that annoys women is the legions of men who all use the same lines on apps, so you must stand out from the crowd and be memorable.
Remember what I said about your words only being 7% of your communication? This means that 50 men can say hey to a woman in person, but because they’ll all have different vibes and personalities, the woman will feel like she’s heard 50 separate statements. However, their vibes aren’t present on dating apps, only their words, so they need to work harder to be memorable. The word:
Hey.
Is identical in print, no matter how different the personalities of the many men who typed it. So, with that in mind, try to see the potential for humour and wit in your textual interactions. Anyway, that’s all for today. Ciao for now. Bon voyage, and boa noite.
Excelsior!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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