Social media is often an integral part of teenage life. But what was once a simple way to stay connected with friends and family, has now evolved into a medium where distinguishing the real from the fake amid alarming trends has become increasingly difficult.
One such trend, sadfishing, is raising concern, particularly among teenagers. The term, which researchers defined in the Journal of American College Health in 2021, refers to social media users who “exaggerate their emotional state online to generate sympathy.” It could be in the form of a sad photo, an ominous quote, or a vague post.
Journalist Rebecca Reid coined the term in 2019 after a questionable Instagram post by Kendall Jenner. In the post, Jenner described a “debilitating struggle” with acne and received a large amount of sympathetic responses from her followers. However, it was later revealed her post was just an elaborate marketing scheme for her skincare partnership with Proactiv, and Reid labeled her behavior as sadfishing.
We all may be guilty of posting something vulnerable and emotional on social media from time to time, which isn’t a bad thing. But excessive posting could be a sign of a larger mental health issue in teens or a cry for help.
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Why Are Teens Sadfishing?
Experts say sadfishing is likely due to the fact a child or teen is struggling with something and wants to let others know. In these cases, they often don’t feel they have a person they feel comfortable with to share their struggles with so they turn to the social media world.
“This type of behavior signifies feeling isolated from peers and family members emotionally and not having an outlet to express their frustrations,” explains Liz Nissim-Matheis, PhD, owner of Psychological & Educational Consulting in Livingston, New Jersey. “It comes off as attention seeking, and sometimes it is, but I don’t think it comes from a place of feeling content and happy.”
A 2023 study published in the journal BMC Psychology, found that teens who participate in sadfishing exhibited signs of anxiety and depression, while low social support was a large contributing factor.
Researchers also found that boys reported “higher sadfishing tendencies” than girls at age 12, but the trend decreased as they got older. For girls, the trend increased with age.
Another more recent study showed that sadfishing occurred in those who had trouble coping with complicated issues or used social media while intoxicated. The study also found those with attention-seeking behaviors due to a personality disorder were prone to sadfishing.
“Sadfishing elicits a response or a reaction,” explains Reena B. Patel, LEP, BCBA. “Albeit not necessarily a sincere one, any type of response can provide that fleeting hit of dopamine from the attention the teenager is receiving after an emotionally-charged post.”
If you are unsure if you have a teen who is sadfishing, experts say to watch for a pattern of emotional posts that talk about personal problems or illicit a feeling of sadness. Contradictory behavior is another sign that may indicate sadfishing, where a teen’s online presence or posts don’t match their real-life behavior.
The Risks of Sadfishing
Researchers found that, in most cases, responses to sadfishing posts were positive and supportive. But in some cases, there were negative responses which could lead to increased stress or anxiety.
When a social media post is unsuccessful in soliciting sympathetic responses, it can also become a forum for ridicule and mockery, Dr. Nissim-Matheis warns, especially if the posts are authentic. And while any response is validating for a child/teen who feels unseen and unheard, it may open them up to privacy violations and predatory behavior. And certain interactions on social media have been linked with self-harm.
“There has been a lot of news recently around social media and its connection with mental health, especially as it relates to children and teenagers,” explains Dr. Patel. She says using social media in lieu of establishing deep and meaningful relationships in the “real world” can also create a dangerous sense of isolation and disconnection.
How Can Parents Respond To Sadfishing
When it comes to emotional social media posts, it’s important to talk and communicate about what your kids are thinking and feeling. Dr. Nissim-Matheis advises parents to not point out the post, which could create anger or embarrassment. Instead, she says approaching a kid with openness and gentleness may be a good way for them to open up.
“Saying something like, ‘I can see you’re hurting. I’m here to listen if there is something on your mind that you want to talk about or brainstorm about,’” she says.
Dr. Patel explains that reinforcing the importance of in-person community and limiting screen time has been shown to have positive effects on teenagers and their mental health. “Offering a safe space for kids to open up without judgment of their feelings is incredibly important during these formative years,” she says.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), it’s OK for parents to turn on privacy settings and monitor their teen’s accounts too.
If needed, set up private therapy, speak to a guidance counselor, seek a friend or trusted adult, a youth pastor, or other religious or non-religious person, who is safe to speak with.
There are also warning signs to pay attention to that can provide insight into social media posts that may go beyond sadfishing, such as:
- Posting about giving away items
- Posting about hopelessness, isolation, and “not being around much longer”
- Sleep disturbances
- Posting content that promotes self-harm
In cases like that, it’s critical to get help. Dr. Patel says texting or calling 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, will connect you with a trained crisis counselor, who can offer compassionate care and support in multiple languages. This can be a resource even when it’s not a crisis.
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